Excerpt for Captivating Kelly

Finally, we settled on a title.

There was Kissing Kelly because the three books prior are Dating Daisy, Promising Penny and Marrying Michelle, but I'm not a fan of 'kissing' in the titles all that much. Captivating really seemed to suit so it might not be KK, and is CK instead but there it is. Captivating Kelly. 

Read on for a sneak peak at the prologue.

PROLOGUE (draft)

KELLY BROWN SUCKED in a deep breath as she walked down the corridor towards the staff café, nerves attacking her with each step, and along with them, regret.

The nerves because she didn’t know what awaited her. It would be small. That she knew. She’d asked for small. A cake would be nice, but that would be enough. She tended to avoid her own hype.

The regret because all this might have been avoided. Might have been something she could have nipped in the bud, although she couldn’t even be sure of that. But whatever it was, it was, plainly and simply, sad. She felt sad. It took an effort at times not to look sad.

Maybe some things were meant to happen for reasons she was completely oblivious to.

She eyed the posters lining the walls as she approached the staff room; glossy, glitzy promotional posters for the TV shows she’d worked on during her career.

And what a career it had been.

She stopped for a moment at the poster of Mystery Date, with host Rob Robertson smiling along with Molly Jessep, his assistant. Bittersweet was the word to describe what she felt when her mind wandered to Mystery Date.  The show had soared in the rating from its dubious beginnings to become the network’s top rated prime time show.

Only now, she wouldn’t be the one producing it. Not for a while at least.

And potentially, not ever. Because that’s what happened when you were so blind to your own self, your life fell apart. When you were so devoted to your job, when your job meant everything, when you ignored the signs that you were burning out—until it was too late.

She reached the café, pushed open the door, and stepped inside.

This wasn’t small.

Applause greeted her, loud and raucous with whistles and claps and cheers. The room was filled with faces she knew and liked, and in that moment, the sadness was swept away. It would come back. She knew that, but it had no place here and now with her colleagues and friends gathering to wish her well.

She swallowed down the thick lump in her throat at the two-tiered cake, and along with it plates of snacks and goodies.

There were balloons, too, and a “Bye for now, Kelly Brown” adorned one wall.

Bye for now.

She hoped that was true. Hoped it wasn’t ‘goodbye for ever’.

But she didn’t know that. There was still a road to travel and she wouldn’t know if she’d make it back, not for many months and therapist visits to come.

Rob threw his arms around her in a bear hug and murmured, “How are you feeling?”

He pulled away, his gaze probing. Concerned.

“I’m feeling sad,” she said honestly, something she’d never have admitted a few months back. “And a little bit—maybe a whole bit—scared.”

He gripped her shoulders. “But you’ll be okay, Kelly. You’ll be fine. You get yourself sorted out, and you’re back at the network. What was that phrase you used? You’ll work on yourself and you’ll be back.”

She gave him a wan smile. “You know that might not happen, Rob. It pains me to think it but it might be that the best thing to do is to—” She couldn’t say it out loud. To leave television.

Rob squeezed her shoulders. “I know that. But we’ll do everything we can to make sure it does happen, if that is what you want. Only what you want, Kelly.”

They already had, and she nodded her thanks. There had been counselling. Time off at first. Although it had became clear she needed more than a few weeks.

At least, that’s what her counsellor and her doctor and her mother had told her.

Bill Rollins, the head honcho, came up then, gave her a quick hug and said, his voice gruff with feeling, “We’re gonna miss you, Kelly Brown.”

“Oh, the show will go on without me.”

He inclined his head. “Yeah. But you won’t be there and that’s one heck of a loss. But at least you’re going to take this time off knowing how much we’re all going to miss you.” He gestured to the table. “We’ve got food. Drink. One heck of a cake. A lot of people want to wish you well.”

She could see that. She could feel it in the atmosphere and she was so grateful.

“Thanks, Bill,” she said. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this.” It was late and there were so many people who could have gone home but who had decided to stay.

And friends, too. Walking towards her were Daisy and Joel, and her spirits lifted in an instant.

They’d become friends after they’d appeared on the first celebrity episode of Mystery Date, won a weekend away together, fallen in love, and married. Their wedding had been televised and they were the Mystery Date success story.

Daisy said, “I hope you’ll think about joining my new bookgroup at the shop. It’s all about fresh starts and new beginnings.”

“Me? At a book group? Discussing my life?” She shuddered at the thought.

Daisy laughed. “I know. The last thing you want to do is talk about it in public, but we’re getting speakers and Penny’s going to provide the snacks from her café, so it’ll be a good time. I’ll send out the link for the dates. You’d be right at home.”

“Because I’m a Ticking Clocker?” she said wryly.

“I thought Ticking Clockers,” Joel interjected, “were women who wanted a family but were running out of time, biologically speaking. Didn’t you say Kelly, your job was your baby?”

“I did say that,” Kelly admitted, although right now, that baby was being put in a foster home. Maybe even adopted out. She winced. What a stupid and ghastly analogy. But in a way true.

Joel said, “Kelly, remind me again about your new job?”

Daisy jabbed him. “Oh my gosh, I told you all about it a million times.”

“Yeah, I know but my mind is elsewhere.” He dragged his hand through his hair. “At the rate this new professor gig is going, I’ll be taking mental health leave myself.”

A soon as he uttered the words, he blanched.

Hastily, Kelly said, “And if it happens, I’ll be the first to commiserate.” At least no-one was skirting too much around the issues but then it had been hard to when she’d suffered a meltdown in the studio and written off her car the next day turning out of the studio car park.

Really hard for anyone to pretend that had never happened.

“Sorry,” Joel said apologetically.

“Don’t be. It’s life. You just have to keep an eye on yourself. But you’ve got Daisy to help out there.”

While she had no-one. She had, but that relationship had contributed to the state she was in, and just like she’d sworn off getting behind the wheel of a car, she’d sworn off love. A hundred percent.

She remembered Joel’s question and said, “My new job is at S.B. Security.”

“And it wasn’t a problem with the health issues?” Daisy gently probed.

“No, but then working in an office is different to the media. And I got amazing references.” Once she’d realised she needed to get out of TV, and work had offered a twelve month leave without pay, it hadn’t taken long to realise she needed work. The first month she’d been okay for money, and then she’d begun job hunting. Fortunately, her skills were complete transferrable and she was able to find a low-level job that paid enough to get her through, and that was only 32 hours a week compared to her usual 50 plus, and it was in data. She loved data. She loved analysing. She loved method and productivity and all that stuff. Even better, besides the skills she’d honed, she’d also chipped away at a business degree, even though she never thought she’d have to use it.

The world of television was ‘it’ for her.

(end)