This is a blog I wrote for a now defunct pop culture site I used to contribute to, some years ago.
A friend was reading some fiction I’d written the other
day and after telling me what she did like about it, commented, “But you’re no
Jane Austen.”
The only Jane Austen I have read is “Emma.”
and it was read under duress at university. I consider myself a person of not
massively low intelligence, but it took three reads to get my head around it.
Interestingly, that paper was not only my first and only complete Jane Austen
experience, but my first and only experience of analysing English literature. I
did get an A but not without suffering a degree of depression as a result.
Yes, I gained an appreciation for some things (Elizabeth Barrett Browning
sonnets, oh my gosh!) but analysing Emily Dickinson was enough to sap the will
to live right out of me. Fortuitously, at the end of that semester, I saw the
movie Stargate on TV, and promptly un-enrolled myself from Shakespeare,
signed up for Egyptology, and all became well again.
It would be dishonest to say I never tried to read Jane
Austen again. I have read the first page of “Pride and Prejudice” many, many
times, and the second page a few less. I believe one year I may even have
finished the first half of chapter one. Another time I got "Northanger
Abbey" out of the library and looked at the cover for quite a while. I
can’t recall actually opening it, but that’s not to say I didn’t.
But it got me thinking about those books that are
acclaimed either for their literary merit or their popularity, and the ones
I've never read. All the other Jane Austens, of course, but what else comes to
mind?
I did start the first one, but when Harry arrived at
Hogwarts, it lost me. I have actually vowed on many occasions to read them all
but since the first book came out in 1997, it's looking unlikely unless I’m in
prison or somewhere with nothing else to do.
I feel I should run away and hide for a few months
after admitting this but the truth is, I will never read it. I did read the
first six pages or so but the thought of making my way through it all when I
can barely make it to the end of a 70,000 word romantic comedy… No. I feel no
guilt over this either because Ms Catton doesn’t need me to like it.
I once gave a talk related to romance publishing and got
asked what I thought of the trilogy and when I said I hadn’t read them, it
felt a bit like when people used to say 'I read Playboy for the articles'. Like
I was lying, or something. A lot of the criticism over the books seems to
be due to the writing-style, and given that I’m no Jane Austen, I must
assume E.L. James isn't either and we thus have a bit in common. But then
I tend to read more on the sweet and light side, and I don’t believe
Christian Grey is at all about sweetness and light. Or maybe he is… I mean, how
would I even know unless I go and read for myself? Oh, the quandary... But then
there is, of course, the movie... Hmmm.
The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit
Many’s the
time I’ve driven through Matamata, home of Hobbiton, and thought, “I must read
Tolkien.” Many’s the time when in Wellington I’ve spotted the Embassy Theatre where
Lord of the Rings premiered in New Zealand and thought the same thing. Many’s
the time I have picked up an actual Tolkien book, opened it, and thought,
"I’m going to finally read this genius and see what all the fuss is
about." Every time I have gently closed it, placed it
reverently back on the shelf - and reached for Bridget Jones instead.
Below is the first cover of Blue Creek Bachelor. It may have been the book my friend read!
Comments